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Sunday
Feb232014

American Men Have No Game

Other cultures may have the same issue, but I can’t speak to them. As an American who has dated primarily American men, I can only speak to this: American men have no game.

And they seriously need to get some.

You know what I mean by “game,” right? Urban dictionary defines it as “a measure of smoothness with the opposite sex” and “mojo.” Well said.

American men seem so utterly clueless about how to approach or treat a female of interest that they tend to instead act in a fashion that quickly relegates them to the friend zone:

  • They can’t flirt. When a woman catches your eye, let her know it. Approach her. State the truth: “I saw you from across the room and I wanted to say hello.” Smile. Give her a wink, even—she might laugh, but in a good way.
  • They can’t make their intentions known. Don’t ask a woman to meet you for coffee or lunch. Don’t ask a woman if she’d like to “hang out sometime.” Ask a woman on a date, for pete’s sake. How? Simple: “Would you like to go on a date with me? I’d like to take you to dinner next week.” If she says no, it might embarrass you for a minute, but you manned up and asked—points for that—and now neither party has wasted any time or money.
  • They treat women like guys. I’ve had men call me “dude” on a date. Also, they want to take me on early-stage dates for activities they enjoy with the guys: Pool. Bowling. Dave and Busters. Watching sports on the couch.
  • They just stand there. If you’d like more than friendship, you need to show a woman attention. Find something about her you find attractive or admirable—and tell her so. Look her in the eye. Lean toward her. Engage. Put a hand on her forearm. Stand and kiss her on the cheek when she arrives.

Complete lack of game forces women to take the initiative. They have to ignore indications that a man wants only friendship and ask him out, make the first move, and clearly outline expectations and intentions. And while I see nothing wrong with an assertive woman, our culture trains most females that proper women never act “forward” in social situations.

This combination—of passive men and women trained to passivity—makes for lot of lonely hearts.

So guys, find your confidence. (After all, everyone finds confidence attractive.) Step it up. Meet us at least halfway.

Up your game, my friends.

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